Skip to main content

Glances

A cold breeze tickles my freshly shaven scalp. In the distance, headlights flicker into nothingness as the iron horses they belong to traverse the darkened Coronado Bay Bridge. I pause from my appreciation the city I dreamed about from a world away and take a long swig of beer. Hoppy and strong with the aftertaste of wheat. Perfect. That’s when I notice you. Our eyes lock for a fraction of a second that drags on like dripping oil, and all that’s unsaid between us is said. You’re really quite attractive. Blonde hair pulled back lightly in a relaxed manner, pale skin stealing the goldenrod yellow flickering off of the fire, bold framed glasses framing a soft, feminine face with classic features. Beautiful. I steal a glance at your date. Older, Id say mid-30s, in an ill-fitting polo. Hands gesticulating wildly as he performs the tale he’s no doubt rehearsed tirelessly in preparation for tonight. His eyes dart from side to side and roll like rims in their sockets, looking at everything but the perfection in front of him. Why are you here anyway? You're obviously not interested. Do you need a sugar daddy? I've had the misfortune of meeting a few girls since November that bragged about the material gains they’ve “earned” from unsuspecting marks. No, you look too fresh, too innocent for that harsh brand of reality. Did he lie to you? In this age of deteriorating social skills and somnambulant texters, men and women readily lie on their profiles. Ive been catfished a few times, but at least one of those hideous land whales introduced me to my favorite bar. But again, it doesn’t add up. You look too perceptive and intelligent, if not jaded and wordly. Maybe you just like older men. But then, why are you capturing surreptitious glances at me and not the befuddled idiot courting you? I don’t know the answers to these questions, and I don't give a damn about them either way. You and I are locked in a dance now baby, an engagement as old as time. You’ve made your interest apparent and preternaturally accepted my invitation. Now I must step out onto the floor. Shall I take you from him? It’ll be easy. Engage you both in conversation with an open ended question, tease you, befriend you both, gradually shift my focus towards you, collect both numbers, and go from there. Ive done it before to great effect, but I’m tired and not feeling particularly social. I can choose to continue our little seductive staredown, grinning slightly as the tension builds, daring you to look away. If you look down smiling subtly, which you will, Ill have all but no choice to go over. Building attraction only to not follow through is a rookie move, an insult to both the woman and the game. Or, I can choose to recede and retract, bowing out graciously. Maybe if it was Saturday night and not Sunday evening. Maybe if we both had something stronger flowing through us. Perhaps if the atmosphere was more conducive to illicit encounters. Seduction is always more enjoyable at the expense of the uninitiated. Not nice, but nothing true ever is. Tonight, I choose to make a drawn out exit. I sit for about 20 more minutes, catching and parrying glances, deflecting invitations. Finally, I rise and pay my tab, strolling by you and your knight in ruffled polo with practiced, deliberate non chalance. Your eyes drill holes into me all the while, and I look. So does your date, and I stifle a snicker as he squares his narrow shoulders. Contrary to popular belief, Im not arrogant in the slightest, but I take a sadistic, personal pride in embarrassing hipsters who forget themselves. As our eyes meet one more time baby, I wonder who you'd want me to be. Ive worn many masks for many women. Ive been the sensitive poet and the tortured fighter, Noah Calhoun and Christian Grey. But tonight, I can be nobody else but me. Smiling, I walk to my car as its silver paint glistens in silver moonlight, a cold breeze tickling my freshly shaven scalp. Good thing my face is never shaven on the weekend. I may freeze.

Popular posts from this blog

A Drunkard's Lament

              Alcohol/ Is a battle fought/ With madness wrought/ From the sadness caught/ Between a man that calms/ His hands and thoughts/ With poison that wraps its claws/ Around his watch/ Makes time pass and stop/ Whenever he slams a shot/ I have forgot-/ -ten the chasms walked/ Barefoot and half distraught/ When I've drowned in bot-/ -tles of the brownest rot-/ -gut liquor, that the damned can flaunt/ Prancing, dropped/ By the rancid vom-/ -it that crams and falls/ From the mouth of all/ The manic lost/ Ones that choose to pad their traum-/ -as with Jack and vod-/ -ka, Schnapps and all-/ -the traps of karma/ Let's get plastered, crawl the/ Line, disasters wobbling/ Pants are starting/ To tear, we're panting, heart is/ Racing, death a tragic pardon/ From the crimes of a master wrong one/ The fortune amassed is startling/ Fan your pockets/ For the change that's always last for varmints/ Alas, unvarnished/ Regrets are magic, popping/ Up wherever you'...

Across The Seas

 I like watching you sleep/ She said, as I jostled and kneed/ My way on the mattress, stopping to think/ If you watch me, when do you actually fall into deep/ Rest yourself, it must be awful to be/ Kept up by my snoring, talking to me/ Not realizing that I've gone off the brink/ Of wakefulness and darkness until I'm startled and swing/ My arms up and cause you to spring/ Onto my chest laughing, harder than we've/ Ever done before, but you settle in and softly you sing/ I don't mind, because I love to listen to your heart as it beats/ The tears begin to pool and I cough and release/ Them in the present, because what once caused me to think/ I'd found Heaven on Earth is now a harsh memory/ But I bear it still, because though it carves and it cleaves/ And I lay there trembling, starting to bleed/ I know then I was alive for that part of the scene/ My recollection is sharp as the green/ Blades of grass in the lawn of our dreams/ In front of the house where we'd deco...

An Interlude To Forever

I wonder how your day was. I picture you according to the vivid visualizations you feed me exasperatedly. You scramble intently up the side of a helicopter, face grimacing, hands clenching down on life itself as you struggle to find some security during the climb. You laugh joyously with your new friends, the ones you feared you would never make, for what reason I can’t contemplate, your reasoning forever lost to my assumptions. Your hair whips back fiercely, stealing the light from the descending sun, the energy matching the fire in your seductive, ferocious eyes, and I long to bathe in that light another night. I remember the evenings we spent huddled around the warmth of a lit cigarette, dead to the world yet alive in our exile. Confined to base egregiously and unjustly for a crime you didn’t commit, you stood steadfast with inhuman grace and inspiring resoluteness, showing yourself to be stronger than I could ever be. You praised me for standing by you throughout the unjust ord...