Skip to main content

Darker Days








Darker Days



Nervous and eager/
Am I deserving of beatings/
For the hurt I've unleashed on/
The most perfect of creatures/
I'm certain I need to/
Forgive myself because this sermon is weakened/
I'm not an uncertain defeatist/
And I'm learning to swing at/
Impermanent leanings/
Churches and greetings/
Have worked but I'm needing/
Something to burn all the reasons/
That I can't curb with an evening/
Of working and dreaming/
The current relinquished/
Me but I'm back, swerving and weaving/
Cursing and screaming/
Returning to evil/
Ways, like bursting on scenes with/
A metal curvature gleaming/
Over my knuckles, lurking and drinking/
In shadows, surly and weeping/
I'm surely a demon/
Perched and I'm seeking/
New ways to degrade myself/
These pains I've felt/
Refuse to be hanged or shelved/
Days will melt/
Into their greater selves/
The anger pelts/
Me crazed and jailed/
In my own mind, I've repaid my debt/
But remain affect-/
Ed by this strange regret/
Maybe lets/
Talk and reclaim the stress/
That's taken over, and let chains relent/
Saved and blessed/
But on Earth I'm in pain and bent/
Over in agony, my restraints have left/
Me with depraved intent/
And I'm a slave that met/
With his payment meth-/
Od and he's dazed and spent/
No matter how many times I display repentance/
I'm questioned/
By my disdain and quest/
To erase my sense/
Of accolades content/
Maybe just/
What I need/
To fly free/
Finally/
Is to persuade the wrench/
To start fixing/
What's wrong with me/
This strong instance/
Of not guilty/
Won't stop whispering/
In my head, you're caught sinner/
That false glimmer/
Of hope will not hit the/
Wall splitting/
You from the fog lifting/
Off living/
You will remain locked wishing/
You could live posh, skipping/
Happy, God willing/
You must drop crippling/
Thoughts brimming/
With lost filthy/
Spots spinning/
In your head constantly/
Stop tripping/
And pardon these/
Ardently/
Common things/
You insist are harboring/
Darker dreams/
Don't keep carving schemes/
Where they don't exist, harden creeds/
And honor Angels/
In waters aching/
For uncharted wading/
Darker days and/
Forgotten changes/
Father take me/
Done stalking prey with/
Unwanted angles/
Parlor fables/
Tricked me into walking angry/
My throat's parched, untainted/
Eyes darting angsty/
Acting partnered strangely/
With startled bravery/
Cards are raining/
Down, frost is aiming/
Towards me/
Implore me/
To enjoy these/
Artful paintings/
And the harm that pain brings/
As I'm crawling bracing/
Myself for my sought escaping/
Cause my throttle's waving/
And the cost is anxious/
To finally be enacted/
In this fashion/
Dismantled/
As I jostle facing/
The karma pacing/
Back and forth/
To slam the door/
On this obnoxious hatred/
Of myself, as I walk away from/
It and topple blaming/

Popular posts from this blog

An Interlude To Forever

I wonder how your day was. I picture you according to the vivid visualizations you feed me exasperatedly. You scramble intently up the side of a helicopter, face grimacing, hands clenching down on life itself as you struggle to find some security during the climb. You laugh joyously with your new friends, the ones you feared you would never make, for what reason I can’t contemplate, your reasoning forever lost to my assumptions. Your hair whips back fiercely, stealing the light from the descending sun, the energy matching the fire in your seductive, ferocious eyes, and I long to bathe in that light another night. I remember the evenings we spent huddled around the warmth of a lit cigarette, dead to the world yet alive in our exile. Confined to base egregiously and unjustly for a crime you didn’t commit, you stood steadfast with inhuman grace and inspiring resoluteness, showing yourself to be stronger than I could ever be. You praised me for standing by you throughout the unjust ord...

Pushups And Squats

People are faliable and weak. So am I, as I can be grouped in with the company I just described. When we are challenged, we can be fragile and wispy, torn away from the promises weve made by the lightest of breezes. Throughout my tenure in the military, Ive made and lost great friends, courted acquaintences with numbing cordiality, and endured inexhaustible, seemingly random hatred. Ive been ostracized from groups because of my beliefs, my attitude, and the way that I carried myself. Thankfully there were always people to fall into the arms of, but I learned early on to be self-reliant. The harsh truth is that the vast majority of those you meet are wearing masks. They put on a facade of friendship, carrying along suitably as long as your companionship benefits them. As soon as you are of no use, they eschew you, shedding you like dead skin. You have two choices when confronted with this temerity. You can either fall into debasing, embarassing self-pity, or you can accept the situati...

Agony

 Agony/ Is pounding, scree-/ -ching on my door, hounding me/ So I grab a ream/ Of paper and begin to shout and free/ These words from my heart, it's challenging/ As the pain keeps hounding me/ And the tears jab and sting/ At my eyes, I'm battling/ Another war, how could he/ Die, I thought we'd have a sea-/   -son without a funeral, standing bleak-/   -ly around a coffin as the gleam-/   -ing bugle plays Taps and we/ Have to be/ Strong for the family/ Crowds will weep/ As shoulders slouch and heave/ With sadness leak-/   -ing from their eyes haphazardly/ It's maddening/ Another year has passed and we/ Keep burying our elders tragically/ I don't know if I can stay around for these/ Tragedies/ Much longer, so I gaze passionately/ Out to sea/ And begin planning each/ Step of my escape back to me/