Greener Trees
Why can't this new level/
Let the truth settle/
Within me, instead it stews, festers/
And I eschew lessons/
Taught to me by the dues entered/
Into a blue treasure/
I lay nude, spreading/
The clues endless/
They're thin, obtuse, severed/
From reality/
Keep hounding me/
As I choose destined/
Battles/
That happen/
To grab me/
And gravi-/
Tate towards the tragic/
Disasters/
I've managed/
To answer/
To, I'm too tired to straddle/
Dying enraputred/
By the fighting and glamour/
This style has hampered/
Me for an eternity/
I feel unworthy, these/
Blessings falling and dirtying/
All of my undeservedly/
Hurting schemes/
And now I'm hurdling/
Perfectly/
Into the eye of an emergency/
Stop serving me/
These platitudes/
I scavenge through/
I have to do/
What you claim would be amounting to/
Turning the baddest move/
Into an avenue/
I'm going to gallop through/
And blast into/
A hellish mess/
A den of stress/
Unsettled less/
Than a coward's doom/
I'm standing proof/
That to penetrate/
A mental state/
Built on selfish hate/
That denegrates/
The subject daily/
Is remaining/
A bettor's game/
I'm set in ways/
From which I'll never wake/
Heaven's gates/
Are closed to me/
Woe to me/
I'm dead and saved/
Yet I can't let the pain/
Subside, whether change/
Comes through endless games/
Of poker or MMA/
In the corner/
A distant orphan/
From the life he led astray/
Deaf to pace/
I'm going until the bell is shaked/
I was bled and shaped/
By an ordeal/
That poured skills/
Like mourning fields/
Of coarse seals/
On the past and morbid meals/
Into a short reel/
That I watched, abort real/
Ideas and torch build-/
Ings filled with old feel-/
Ings and doors wheeled/
Shut by a soul chilled/
By forced shields/
And assorted killed/
Important drills/
They're dormant still/
But my core's steel/
And if you're seeing this/
Or reading in-/
Between the lines in a capricious twist/
I'm needling/
A deeper mix/
Of emotions, leading with/
My demons in/
A way I deemed egregious in/
The past, cleaner filth/
Dreams are in/
My mind even as I eagerly/
Pursue them, I need to be/
An easy beast/
Singling/
This trauma out, seeds are reaped/
Unfeasibly/
As the seasons bring/
The greener trees/